January 28, 2009
Hey guys,
As great as life at the store has treated me, ever since I’ve returned to Montreal I’ve been stuck in a bit of social rut, struggling to find the motivation to get out of the house and enjoy myself. Last Saturday, on the advice of some customers, I forced myself out of the apartment, away from my TV and DVD player, to the Dimstump reunion concert. Nasty Joe and the boys performed solidly, but I was disappointed that there were about twenty times as many guys as girls in the crowd. I was hoping to meet a young lady there who shared my passion for the music, but it was not to be.
I made up for it a little on Sunday when I watched Titanic because Kate Winslet melts my heart. She’s elegant, sophisticated, beautiful and inaccessible. I dream of being the Leonardo DiCaprio character, except that I don’t die at the end. We would have had a wonderful life together tucked away in her family’s Warwick manor and next year would have been our hundredth wedding anniversary. It took me a long time to get over that initial crush and I still mourn its loss.
When I opened the shop Monday morning, I went about my chores with my mind floating off in the stratosphere, buoyed by thoughts of Kate. As I was sweeping the action section, the door chimes rang and burst my balloon. Intruding upon my rapture was Steve, my boss, sporting a wide grin and strands of cotton candy stuck like Velcro to his stubbly beard.
He was in a good mood because the video store two blocks away was closing, making us officially the last one in the neighbourhood, and he was expecting a surge of customers. He was so excited that he cranked up the radio. Deep Purple’s Smoke on the Water was playing, which got him jumping around putting on an elaborate air guitar show. When the song finished he sat back down to catch his breath and I brought over some coffee from the café next door. We spoke of future plans; I suggested repainting the walls, installing new shelves and buying a state-of-the-art TV to host movie nights at the shop. He nodded along with my ideas, but I know he was only thinking about money.
Steve is a likeable, easygoing boss and a one-of-a-kind character. Before he bought the store he spent years as a bear handler in a travelling circus. Every spring his troop would assemble and spend the summer months traipsing around mining towns and logging camps in Northern Ontario. Steve’s job was to train a female brown bear, Florence, to do tricks like dribble a basketball, do somersaults and dance a jig. These experiences left a deep mark on his personality. For one thing, I’ve noticed that his communication skills may be better suited to talking with bears than with people. His sentences often devolve into a unique kind of gibberish and sometimes he just grunts. He expects me to understand him, so I just smile and nod, because I don’t like asking him to repeat himself. The circus is also where he picked up his habit of living off weird, unhealthy food, especially cotton candy. I once saw him put it on a hamburger, another time he sprinkled some in his coffee.
His taste in movies is also strange; he exclusively watches courtroom dramas and police action thrillers. Don’t get me wrong, I love Law & Order as much as the next guy but I keep telling him, “Steve, we have enough John Grisham movies, let’s get some more comedies.” He’s not interested in laughing though, which I find odd for someone who worked in a circus.
…
The following day, I returned to the café after lunch. But this time it was no routine coffee break; it was a moment of pure bliss that will outlast all the slings and arrows father time launches at my memory. Cupid struck my heart and took my mind off Steve, the store and even sweet Kate.
Allow me to paint you a picture: It was empty except for an old man reading the newspaper in the corner. A song by Jacques Brel wafted out from behind the counter. “Ne me quitte pas.” This guy could really sing the tortures of intense infatuation. I love that song and get shivers every time I hear it.
A shaft of golden sunlight streamed in through the window, bathing the room in a soft, peaceful glow. I turned distractedly to order my usual afternoon coffee and was met by the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. She was radiant. The heavenly scent of her vanilla perfume mingled with the cinnamon pastries. Her soft hazel eyes slowly lifted to meet mine. She gave me a brief but warm smile before she squinted and tilted her head off to the left to shield her eyes from the sun with her floppy-brimmed fedora. I took this moment to study her body. I was captivated by her clear, porcelain skin – down her neck – strong, tight, to her shoulder blade, her top rib slightly protruding, on to the spot where her undone upper shirt buttons exposed the corner of her breasts.
It felt like the moment I first saw Kate Winslett grace the silver screen. My pleasure was intensifying. That was my signal to quickly meet her eyes before she was creeped out. If she noticed, she didn’t seem to mind because she was sporting a welcoming smile, and if I’m not mistaken, her eyes were returning from somewhere on my person in the vicinity of my belt.
“That’ll be a dollar thirty-five,” she said, the melodic sound of her voice fluttering gracefully to my ears like a butterfly dancing through a country meadow. I stepped as close to the counter as I could without touching it. Her hair, chestnut brown with streaks of auburn, fell just past her jaw. I was resisting a growing urge to touch her, so I buried my hands deep in my pockets to fiddle with the pieces of lint and old gum wrappers. I was conscious of each step in case she was watching me. I felt as if I was going to forget how to walk.
…
It is currently 1:10 in the morning. I can’t get to sleep. Even though I have to work tomorrow morning, there is much unrest in my head. It is at these late hours that I sometimes lie awake in bed and wonder what my life has become, like I can do anything about it at 1 am! It seems like sometimes when you make a mistake, even on the other side of the world, you just aren’t allowed to forget about it…
I guess that since my apartment is still and quiet, and all is dark, my brain decides to take over; it starts making noise, running around in circles and turning the lights on. It is in the void of darkness that my imagination can wander as far it wishes. With the senses deprived there is nothing to yoke the mind to the physical world. The Sufis harness this vast energy to contemplate the mysteries of the cosmos, but I need a warm body beside me to ground me in reality.
Oh Girl from the Café, QUENCH THIS THIRST!
My eyes are getting a bit heavier now, but I still don’t want to lie back down until I’m certain I’m harbouring enough drowsiness to put me instantly to sleep. I’m going to try a bit of escapism. I will suspend my disbelief and re-enter the world of Dolly Parton and Sylvester Stallone in the movie Rhinestone. I say re-enter because I began watching it before supper. I paused it just before their triumphant return to the Big Apple. Dolly works as a singer at a New York club called the Rhinestone. To get out of her contract with her oppressive, sex-obsessed boss, she must turn a random guy (cab driver Stallone) into a country singer that will wow the club’s audience. What better place to do this than Leiper’s Fork, Tennessee, Parton’s hometown? Now I’m going to watch him completely rule the Rhinestone. How do I know that will happen, you might ask? Well, it’s obvious; that’s the formula!
I just got a signal from the cockpit that we are beginning our final descent into dreamtown. I’m going to fasten myself securely to my bed and stow my computer below. Until next time, wish me luck with my café princess!
Comments:
mulletar: i also love cake Winslett
mulletar: whoops i mean Cate Winslett dam autocorrect
always_right_princess: It’s Kate with a K, spelled correctly in the article. Some people commenting on here need to go back to grade 1 and pay attention when they read. Just saying.
doctorphyllis_MD: It’s just a typo, relax young lady. Some people have learning disabilities and they have a hard time spelling. Let’s focus on the content and not get sucked into petty squabbles.
Jukeboxsuperhero: I remember Steve performing ZZ Top at air guitar night at Grouchy’s. he was amazing but he was runner up to a professional air guitar group, Air-o-smith.
averagejoe66: Steve is great. His recommendations are always on point. He’s got every season of law and order and the shield.
J-babylon: i woulda also loved to see his bear routine. sounds awesome. if anyones into that kinda thing, my cousin coordinates a local freak show. come check us out next thursday at the tent behind the public baths on st. matthew. were always on the lookout for new talent. page me at 555-8393 if you got something to show. we pay $$$
J-babylon: and anytime you wanna hit the town drop me a line vic bro
always_right_princess: Dolly was great in Rhinestone and 9 to 5. Can anyone recommend another movie she’s in?
Spliffany: Designing Women maybe or Beverly Hillbillies. But I agree, in 9 to 5 she carried a strong message about the equality of women.
mulletar: ya and how bout that rack
averagejoe66: Yeah, I heard she got them insured for a million bucks
Spliffany: You’re a bunch of pigs
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